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Chris Hinton’s Pathway To Success
Ahhhhh, I’m so pumped right now! I just got a call an hour ago for work. This is incredibly exciting news. I can’t even begin to tell you why, but I’m going to try anyhow. I don’t know many of …...
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Winter Solstice
I’ll get to more of the regulars, more of the good guys in just a minute. There’s something on my mind that I have to share first. It’s really wild. This one is gonna go all over the place, but …...
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Meet Ralph
Well, you dimwits. The time has come. It’s time you meet a long lost friend of mine, a friend that began it all for me. A friend that first got me into writing over eight years ago. It’s time that...
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$7.33 – A Thank You
Wooooooo doggie! It’s been a while since I’ve done one for the ladies and the gay gentlemen, so here you go. Here’s an autographed topless photo of me while out for a jog the other day. I’m back to...
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If You Could See Into My Soul
Where to begin, where to begin. How do you like my sunglasses? I broke my other pair and lost my expensive Ray Bans a few months ago. The Ray Bans were on top of my head when I lost them. … Continue...
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Memoirs of a Genuine Madman
Hi there, everyone. How are my most favoritest dimwits in the whole, wide world doing? I hope the answer is swell. I’m afraid I won’t be posting much for a while. I’ve decided to turn my focus...
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Goin’ To Acapulco
So much to say, so little time. Where to take it, you dimwits? Where to begin? I got an email from Chlamydia yesterday. She googled me and found my blog. She read a ton of my posts. Holy...
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Flubberty Jibberty
Above is a photo of one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world. This is Laura. Laura enjoys when I take photos of her. This is photo 86 of 92 in the series I like to title “Hey … Continue...
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Reflektor
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, … Continue reading →
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What’s Been Going On
About a month ago, I took a long drive to Nowheresville. Just drive drive driving. Probably headed to the frog pond to disappear for a little while. Probably off to get away from it all for just a...
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Angels & Roses
Mama shouted, “You go playin with fire, boy, you’re gonna get burned!” She mentioned something about roses But she never warned me of their prickly thorns. Papa pleaded, “Girls are trouble, son. You’re...
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Chris Hinton’s Pathway To Success
Ahhhhh, I’m so pumped right now! I just got a call an hour ago for work. This is incredibly exciting news. I can’t even begin to tell you why, but I’m going to try anyhow. I don’t know many of …...
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Everything You Wanted
Wow. Good gravy, good gracious me. Blessed virgin Mary, blessed hallelujah be. The pigs have flown. The crows turned white. The fish have climbed the tallest, towering trees. I’m feeling mighty...
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Manchester
“Manchester” by Kishi Bashi I wrote me a book I hid the last page I didn’t even look I think I locked it in a cage Wrote a novel ‘Cause everybody likes to read a novel It started with a … Continue...
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Wish You Were Here
My mother wrote to me. “Listen sonny boy,” she began. “I’m starting to forget your face. I know you’re strange and all, but don’t be a stranger, you hear? Won’t you please come back to this...
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Lima Beans
I could tell you about falling in love with a super cute optometrist who sat across from me in a tiny dark room and told me to look down at her tummy while slowly blinking my eyes. I could tell you...
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